Hello boys and girls, 

If you are traveling to some far off location, and you may say to yourself “I really would like to ride a bike while I’m there”. So you have a few options, but usually the only option is to rent one brand or two of bike. But suppose you want to try something completely different. Well, my guest today is the guy you want to deal with. So if you’re traveling to anywhere in the united states, and you want a bike to rent when you get to your destination, you’ll want to get ahold of Twisted Road. Joining me here in the V-Twin café is Austin Rothbard to tell us all about it.

Hey, now is your chance to get your Motorcycle Men shirt!! Yes, that's right, you can now get yourself a Motorcycle Men short sleeve T, Long Sleeve Tee, Sweatshirt, Hoodie or Polo shirt. The fine folks at Great Plains Apparel were kind enough to put together this wonderful package for us and shirts are waiting for you!!

Special Thanks to our Sponsors:  

Tobacco Motorwear
Shinko Tires
Scorpion Helmets 
Wild-Ass Seats
The Motorcycle Men Support David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation
The Gold Star Ride Foundation  

Don't forget to get over and check out the Ted Shed Video's over on the Motorcycle Men Channel on YouTube.   

Thanks for listening, we greatly appreciate you support. Ride Safe and remember....    

.... We say stupid crap so you don't have to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Boys and Girls 

Here on the podcast I have had interview with guests about Route 66, Historic Route 20 and many other great roads in our nation. One such great road rarely gets a mention and one I didn't know about until I listened to the audiobook "Welcome to Metropolis" by my guest today, Christopher Koch. This wonderful road follows the great Mississippi River from the north all the way to the gulf coast. Aside from the amazing stories he tells us in the book, Chris shared his thoughts and what he learned about the route, Superman, motorcycling and himself on this long, cold journey. Enjoy.

 

Special Thanks to our Sponsors: 

Tobacco Motorwear
Go get yourself some riding jeans and other products for men and women from TOBACCO MOTORWEAR and tell them the Motorcycle Men sent you. Use the coupon code "MotoMen" and get 10% off your order.

Shinko Tires
Why aren't you riding Shinko Tires? What's wrong with you? Affordable, top quality tires for whatever kind of bike you are riding. Including your Harley Davidson and Cruisers. Excellent quality and tread patterns to make you want to ride more and longer. So go check out Shinko Tires and be sure and tell them that the Motorcycle Men Podcast sent you. 

Scorpion Helmets 
For the past 15 years, ScorpionExo® has been DEDICATED to offering high quality, innovative motorcycle helmets and technical apparel at an incredible value. Some of the world’s best helmet and apparel designers spend countless hours developing and testing ScorpionExo® products to ensure that each and every ScorpionExo® HELMET AND GARMENT will surpass user expectations.  So check them out at Scorpion USA and tell them the Motorcycle Men sent you. 

Wild-Ass Seats
Why ride in pain when you can ride in absolute comfort with the help of Wild-Ass Seat Cushions? Your back will thank you and you'll enjoy mile after mile of cruising comfort no matter why type of motorcycle you ride. The cushion eliminates painful pressure points and promotes blood circulation by utilizing adjustable interconnected air cells which conform to the riders shape regardless of weight or seating position. So go to Wild-ass.com and order today. Make sure you tell them that the Motorcycle Men sent you. 

The Motorcycle Men Support David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation
Help us help them. David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation and be sure and let them know you heard about it here on the Motorcycle Men Podcast.  

The Gold Star Ride Foundation
the Gold Star Ride Foundation, helping the families of fallen soldiers and making a difference in the lives of those left behind. If you would like to be a part of a great cause and get some heartfelt miles in, go to goldstarride.org and learn how you can participate in the next Gold Star Ride 

Don't forget to get over and check out the Ted Shed Video's over on the Motorcycle Men Channel on YouTube. 

Thanks for listening, we greatly appreciate you support. Ride Safe and remember....  

.... We say stupid crap so you don't have to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Boys and Girls

You have heard me here on the podcast talk about highway and various roadways that we can all ride our motorcycles on. While roads like California’s Pacific Coast Highway and Route 66 are iconic and many tour companies offer tours on these roads, what they lack is more. More of it to keep you engaged. More to see and more to do. Though those roads and others like them are great and perhaps historic, they lack that coast to coast adventure you might be looking for. From time to time you’ve also heard me mention the longest highway in America. Route 20, stretching from Boston, Massachusetts to Newport Oregon. My guest today is Bryan Farr of the Historic Route 20 Association and he's here to tell us all about this little known, but historic route across America.

 

 

Special Thanks to our Sponsors:

Tobacco Motorwear
Go get yourself some riding jeans and other products for men and women from TOBACCO MOTORWEAR and tell them the Motorcycle Men sent you. Use the coupon code "MotoMen".

Shinko Tires
Why aren't you riding Shinko Tires? What's wrong with you? Affordable, top quality tires for whatever kind of bike you are riding. Including your Harley Davidson and Cruisers. Excellent quality and tread patterns to make you want to ride more and longer. So go check out Shinko Tires and be sure and tell them that the Motorcycle Men Podcast sent you.

Scorpion Helmets 
For the past 15 years, ScorpionExo® has been DEDICATED to offering high quality, innovative motorcycle helmets and technical apparel at an incredible value. Some of the world’s best helmet and apparel designers spend countless hours developing and testing ScorpionExo® products to ensure that each and every ScorpionExo® HELMET AND GARMENT will surpass user expectations.  So check them out at Scorpion USA and tell them the Motorcycle Men sent you.

Wild-Ass Seats
Why ride in pain when you can ride in absolute comfort with the help of Wild-Ass Seat Cushions? Your back will thank you and you'll enjoy mile after mile of cruising comfort no matter why type of motorcycle you ride. The cushion eliminates painful pressure points and promotes blood circulation by utilizing adjustable interconnected air cells which conform to the riders shape regardless of weight or seating position. So go to Wild-ass.com and order today. Make sure you tell them that the Motorcycle Men sent you.

The Motorcycle Men Support David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation
Help us help them. David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation and be sure and let them know you heard about it here on the Motorcycle Men Podcast. 

The Gold Star Ride Foundation
the Gold Star Ride Foundation, helping the families of fallen soldiers and making a difference in the lives of those left behind. If you would like to be a part of a great cause and get some heartfelt miles in, go to goldstarride.org and learn how you can participate in the next Gold Star Ride

Don't forget to get over and check out the Ted Shed Video's over on the Motorcycle Men Channel on YouTube.

Thanks for listening, we greatly appreciate you support. Ride Safe and remember....   

.... We say stupid crap so you don't have to.

 

 

 

Hello Boys and Girls!!

Today, March 3rd, 2020 marks the 5th anniversary of the Motorcycle Men podcast. Five years. We've grown, learned, improved and in some areas, might have even gotten worse. But, we still maintain as we always have and still aim for one goal; to entertain you, our audience. Thank you for your support these past five years and your continued support in the years to come..... hopefully.

This week:   

• Harley Davidson releases Softail standard
• Harley's Matt Levetich steps down
• Hero Motorcycles getting in on the action  
• Harley Davidson Sport Bike?
• Motorcycle Men drop to #15, vote here
• 5th Anniversary
  • 1st Episode was 2:50 with  just me explaining my wish/hope/plan for the show
  • 1st full Episode was Tim and I and was split into two parts 1A & 1B
  • First two years was broken down into Season 1 and 2
  • In Year 3, Justin joined as a regular on Episode 128
  • Justin was our Second guest on Episode 8, June 13th, 2015
  • Features that have come and gone:
    • 10 questions of DILLIGAF
    • Bike Spec Shootout
    • 50 Roads 50 States
    • 3 Bike Reviews
    • Book and movie reviews but bringing it back next studio episode.
  • 25 Interviews, 20 on-air guests 
    • Repeat Offenders 
      • Huffy The Clown 6 
      • Dave Ackerman 4 
      • Alonzo Bodden 3 
      • Larry Marshall 5 
      • Steve Blaufeder of TT Cycles 3 
• To Date, we have recorded 18,670 hours of podcast 
  • 777.92 Days / 2.12 Years 
  • Average length 79.44 / 1 hr-32 min. minutes long 
  • Longest: Episode 59 with Phil Waters on November 9th, 2016 at 131 mins. 
  • Shortest: Episode 87 Interview with Aero Rudd of Ciro3D 30 mins

Thanks to our sponsors for their continued support!!!!

Tobacco Motorwear 

Shinko Tires 

Scorpion Helmets 

David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation

Gold Star Ride Foundation 

Wild-Ass Seats

Thanks for listening, we greatly appreciate you support. Ride Safe and remember.... 

 .... We say stupid crap so you don't have to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Boys and Girls, 

Sometimes when you travel you just can’t take your motorcycle either because you’re traveling with family or you’re on a business trip and there’s no down time to enjoy two wheels. Or maybe you decide to take a trip to a destination far enough away that you just don’t have the time to ride to the destination, so you fly there, rent a car and see it all from the comfort and confines of a little container to view the world as you drive on by. But there is another option and my guest is here today to tell us all about it. Erik Seversen of Eagle Rider joins me in the V-Twin Cafe for a chat about the services they offer.

 

Special Thanks to our Sponsors:

 Tobacco Motorwear
Go get yourself some riding jeans and other products for men and women from TOBACCO MOTORWEAR and tell them the Motorcycle Men sent you. Use the coupon code "MotoMen".

  Shinko Tires
Why aren't you riding Shinko Tires? What's wrong with you? Affordable, top quality tires for whatever kind of bike you are riding. Including your Harley Davidson and Cruisers. Excellent quality and tread patterns to make you want to ride more and longer. So go check out Shinko Tires and be sure and tell them that the Motorcycle Men Podcast sent you.

  Scorpion Helmets 
For the past 15 years, ScorpionExo® has been DEDICATED to offering high quality, innovative motorcycle helmets and technical apparel at an incredible value. Some of the world’s best helmet and apparel designers spend countless hours developing and testing ScorpionExo® products to ensure that each and every ScorpionExo® HELMET AND GARMENT will surpass user expectations.  So check them out at Scorpion USA and tell them the Motorcycle Men sent you.

 The Motorcycle Men Support David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation
Help us help them. David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation and be sure and let them know you heard about it here on the Motorcycle Men Podcast. 

   Don't forget to get over and check out the Ted Shed Video's over on the Motorcycle Men Channel on YouTube.

 

 Thanks for listening, we greatly appreciate you support. Ride Safe and remember....   

 

 .... We say stupid crap so you don't have to.

 

Hello Boys and Girls, 

Let’s say you’ve just got back from a 300 mile ride, or a 50 mile ride and you are in pain. Not a headache or your hands. Maybe it’s your back and or your butt that is aching. Suppose you can’t stay on your bike for more than an hour and your butt gets sore and perhaps parts of you fall asleep. Being in pain on the bike is a bad thing and doesn’t lend to any pleasure which is why get on the bike in the first place. My guest today will help you remove that pain and discomfort while you are riding and put that smile back on your face when you take on that next big ride. Craig from Wild-Ass Seats joins me in the V-Twin Cafe.

 

Special Thanks to our Sponsors:

Tobacco Motorwear
Go get yourself some riding jeans and other products for men and women from TOBACCO MOTORWEAR and tell them the Motorcycle Men sent you. Use the coupon code "MotoMen".

 Shinko Tires
Why aren't you riding Shinko Tires? What's wrong with you? Affordable, top quality tires for whatever kind of bike you are riding. Including your Harley Davidson and Cruisers. Excellent quality and tread patterns to make you want to ride more and longer. So go check out Shinko Tires and be sure and tell them that the Motorcycle Men Podcast sent you.

 Scorpion Helmets 
For the past 15 years, ScorpionExo® has been DEDICATED to offering high quality, innovative motorcycle helmets and technical apparel at an incredible value. Some of the world’s best helmet and apparel designers spend countless hours developing and testing ScorpionExo® products to ensure that each and every ScorpionExo® HELMET AND GARMENT will surpass user expectations.  So check them out at Scorpion USA and tell them the Motorcycle Men sent you.

The Motorcycle Men Support David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation
Help us help them. David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation and be sure and let them know you heard about it here on the Motorcycle Men Podcast. 

  Don't forget to get over and check out the Ted Shed Video's over on the Motorcycle Men Channel on YouTube.

 Thanks for listening, we greatly appreciate you support. Ride Safe and remember....   

 .... We say stupid crap so you don't have to.

Hello Boys and Girls!!

We are back in the V-Twin Cafe and this time we talk about.......

• Harley Davidson and the new 131 cui engine
• The death of MCN Magazine
• The non-Death of Norton Motorcycles
• The new Harley Davidson 30th Anniversary Fat boy
• Motocycle Men ranked #5 in Podcast Magazine  VOTE HERE!!!
• US Interstates and US Highways

 

Thanks to our sponsors for their continued support!!!!

Tobacco Motorwear
Go get yourself some riding jeans and other products for men and women from TOBACCO MOTORWEAR!! They have multiple fits and styles of protective jeans for men and women so you can find something that matches your style. They also make jackets, vests and riding shirts. And you’ve heard me say it before, I love my California Riding shirt and My Tobacco Riding Jeans and I wear them every ride, I just won’t ride without them. Not only that, nearly every time I wear them, somebody asks about them! 

Tobacco believes the safest gear is the gear you will actually wear. That’s why they make products that look good and protect you while riding. And Tobaccos are made to last right here in the USA. 

No need to sacrifice style for safety or vice-versa, go check out TobaccoMotorwear.com that’s TobaccoMotorWear.Com and our listeners get 10% off your order when you use the code “MotoMen” Your safety is worth it.

Shinko Tires
Why aren't you riding Shinko Tires? What's wrong with you? Affordable, top quality tires for whatever kind of bike you are riding. Including your Harley Davidson and Cruisers. Excellent quality and tread patterns to make you want to ride more and longer. So go check out Shinko Tires and be sure and tell them that the Motorcycle Men Podcast sent you. 

Scorpion Helmets 
For the past 15 years, ScorpionExo® has been DEDICATED to offering high quality, innovative motorcycle helmets and technical apparel at an incredible value. Some of the world’s best helmet and apparel designers spend countless hours developing and testing ScorpionExo® products to ensure that each and every ScorpionExo® HELMET AND GARMENT will surpass user expectations.  So check them out at Scorpion USA and tell them the Motorcycle Men sent you.

The Motorcycle Men Support David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation
Help us help them. David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation and be sure and let them know you heard about it here on the Motorcycle Men Podcast. 

Gold Star Ride Foundation 
Helping the families of fallen soldiers and making a difference in the lives of those left behind. If you would like to be a part of a great cause and get some heartfelt miles in, go to www.goldstarride.org and learn how you can participate in the next Gold Star Ride

Don't forget to get over and check out the Ted Shed Video's over on the Motorcycle Men Channel on YouTube.

Don't forget to follow the adventures of Woody II... He is out there!

Thanks for listening, we greatly appreciate you support. Ride Safe and remember.... 

 .... We say stupid crap so you don't have to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Boys and Girls, 

Welcome to yet another fantastic interview episode. Back in July of 2017 I interviewed Jake Hamby and Wayne Mitchell and we talked about their ambitious trip they were planning to ride from Alaska to Tierra Del Fuego Argentina via the Darien Gap. They were also going to make a movie about it. Well, Wayne is back with fellow rider Simon Edwards to tell us all how the trip went during the filming of "Where the road ends". 

Riding through Alaska in November 

If you don't already have a pair... you need a pair.... Tobacco Motorwear Company Selvage Riding Jeans. And now, for Motorcycle Men listeners, click on this special link when ordering or call them at 747-666-5741 and tell Dave and the crew that the Motorcycle Men sent you. Use the coupon code “Motorcycle Men” when ordering. 

The Motorcycle Men Podcast is supporting David’s Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation. The foundation was started by Stage 4 cancer survivor David Caldarella to help other families who are struggling through the personal, emotional, physical, mental and financial struggles of cancer. If you would like to help and be a part of something that actually makes a difference, donate today to David’s dream and believe cancer foundation. Go to Davidsdreamandbelieve.org to donate. Please consider contributing to David's Dream and Believe Cancer Foundation 

Viking Cycle is another great retailer for motorcycle riding gear and accessories. Right now get 15% off when you enter your email address and enter the coupon code on any order. Quality leather and textile jackets, pants, vests, gloves and rain gear for men and women. That’s Viking Cycle at Vikingcycle.com 

Also don’t forget to check out the Motorcycle Men YouTube channel. 

The Motorcycle Men - We say stupid crap, so you don't have to.

Hello Boys and Girls, welcome to another lovely episode of the Motorcycle Men!!

Thank you to those of you who help us out with a contribution/donation for the cause.  It is greatly appreciated. If you would like to donate to help the show, go to the home page of the website and hit that Donate button.

This week on the show:

General Stuff:

• The warm misty weather
• The squeak repair

Shopping:

• Cycle Gear SENA Sale 
• Revzilla Bluetooth Sale 
• Bike Bandit Communications Sale 
• J&P Cycles Bluetooth Sale

Email Review

News:

• Harley recalls a shit-ton of bikes because people don't maintain their brakes and the ABS can fail.

Destinations and Eateries:

• Road Food Appetizer: Po Boys in Milton, DE 
• Ride of the Week: Delaware Countdown, Milton DE 
• Road Food Entree:: Middletown eats, Middletown DE

Bike Shootout.... Single Cylinder Bikes

• BMW G310R 
• KTM Duke 390 
• Kawasaki KLR-650

This weeks Topic:

• Where has all the Bike Money gone and going?

Events: 

MM Spring Classic April 21st (Rain Date June 2nd) 
Myrtle Beach Bike Week May 11-19 
Lighthouse Challenge 
Americade June 4-11 
Motorcycle Podcasters Challenge June 21-July11 
10th Annual Valor Ride July 8 
MM Fall Colors Classic October 6 (No rain date at this time) 

Here's some things to check out as always: 

• Motorcycle Men on Facebook
• Motorcycle Men on Twitter
• Motorcycle Men on YouTube
• Motorcycle Men Email
• Motorcycle Men Contact Us
• Motorcycle Men Stickers

Thank you for listening kids, we really appreciate it. Enjoy your ride and remember.....

..... We say stupid crap so you don't have to.

Hello boys and girls!!

Joining me today in the V-Twin Cafe are the creators of the movie "Where the road ends". A documentary of 4 veterans who are going to ride their motorcycles from Alaska to Argentina. 

50% of all donations and contributions to the podcast are donated to VetRest to help our vets who live with Post Traumatic Stress. Help them!!

Join me as I interview Jake Hamby and Wayne......... They are going to tell us all about "Where the Road Ends", how they are going to do it and all you have to do is listen and get immersed in this epic adventure.

Please patronize Ciro3D.com for all of your performance, comfort and accessories for your Harley touring model. These guys make some great stuff!

Also please listen to our fellow motorcycle podcasters. It's our passion, hear all about it.

Thanks for listening and remember to tell everyone you heard about it here on the Motorcycle Men Podcast.

Next week..... Larry from Creative Riding Podcast joins us to discuss Rider Magazines Bike of the year award.

From the Tim Buktu, Chris the Joker and me, Ted Wrongway, your host. Ride safer kids.

Hello Boys and Girls....

This is it... one more to go until we celebrate 100 episodes and we owe all that success to you our loyal listeners... but in the meantime until we get to that time, we have with us a great guest for this show!!...

Remember, 50% of all donations and contributions to the podcast are given to VetRest to help our vets who suffer with Post Traumatic Stress. Helping us helps them. So click on those links on the Home Page or click here >DONATE<

If there is one thing that the motorcycle men like to do… it’s ride. We also like to share stories and a talk about riding, destinations and the journey itself. And one of the things that I enjoy about doing this podcast is getting opportunity to speak with other riders who have gone above and beyond when it comes to riding. Be that long distance, endurance or adventure riding, those long distance riders know how to capture this riders imagination and stir up dreams of a long journey. My guest today is one such rider. Today I had the opportunity to sit and talk with Glen Baker who traveled around North America on a 20,000 mile journey.  Check him out at www.westcoastwanderer.org and follow him on his new adventures. 

Thank you for listening to this episode 99 with the WestCoast Wanderer Glen Baker. So make sure you take some time and check him out at his website and see what he is up to and where he’s headed. 

Don’t forget to check out our friends over at Loud Pipes Podcast, Thottled Podcast, Motorcycles and Misfits, Cleveland Moto, Moterrific, Café Racer Podcast and of course The Wheelnerds. And for you video nerds, check out Delboy’s Garage on Youtube, you might learn something. All of these podcasts and many more out there do great things to promote and encourage our sport and passion. 

Don’t forget, the Motorcycle Podcasters Challenge is in full swing so be sure to check that out on the MPC facebook page to see how the challenge is going between the podcasts involoved. 

Also look at our sponsors. Love-jugs… cool off your big twin with love jugs.  That’s Love-Jugs.com… and… of course Ciro3D…. Providing you with top quality accessories, comfort and performance parts for your big twin…. Ciro3D.com and also our new friends at Uclear Digital Last but not least, Get your leather on with Shore Fire Designs, custom lids for your bagger. Simm’s Designs, your bike ain’t cool until it’s Simm’s Design cool. And of course, get ahold of Dave Ackerman over at Tobacco Motorwear and get yourself some Kevlar Lined jeans and their Kevlar lined California riding shirt. 

Tune in next week when we go live for our 100th episode on Thursday, July 6th at 8 p.m.  From Tim buktu, Chris the Joker and me, Ted, your host, thanks for listening to the motorcycle Men podcast.  This was episode 99 with The west coast wanderer himself Glen Baker.

This has been the motorcycle men podcast where we stay stupid crap so you don’t have to. Ride safer kids.

Hello boys and girls,

Thanks so Ciro3D for sponsoring the show and please check out their new 80 page online catalog of motorcycle accessories, comfort and performance parts for your big twin. They have a lot of great stuff over there. 

But first, thank you for tuning in and listing to this show and of course for all of the motorcycle men Episodes. 50% of all contributions via Patreon and direct donations will be donated to VetRest. VetRest helps veterans who live with PTS and we here at the Motorcycle Men are doing our part to make sure our servicemen and women are taken care of.  Your donation and contribution to the podcast also benefits them.

If you, like me, have this wild dream of traveling on your motorcycle to some far away places, around the world, around your country or even just around your state and yet feel apprehensive or have your excuses of why you can’t.  I hope this interview changes that for you. While adversity of some sort might be you reason, be it health, finances or fear, you need to change that. Like my guest, she put her dreams ahead of her adversity and is living the life she wants and on her motorcycle.  With me today is the very beautiful and very talented Rosie Gabrielle. Check out her Facebook page, Instagram and YouTube Channels.  She uses the Sony RX100 MKV Camera, The Canon 5DMK3 and GoPro Hero 3 and 4 for all of her work.  Very Talented!!

Don’t forget to check out our friends over at Loud Pipes Podcast, Thottled Podcast, Motorcycles and Misfits, Cleveland Moto, Moterrific, Café Racer Podcast and of course The Wheelnerds. And for you video nerds, check out Delboy’s Garage on Youtube, you might learn something. All of these podcasts and many more out there do great things to promote and encourage our sport and passion. 

Also look at our sponsors. Love-jugs… cool off your big twin with love jugs.  That’s Love-Jugs.com… and… of course Ciro3D…. Providing you with top quality accessories, comfort and performance parts for your big twin…. Ciro3D.com and also our new friends at Uclear Digital Last but not least, Get your leather on with Shore Fire Designs, custom lids for your bagger. Simm’s Designs, your bike ain’t cool until it’s Simm’s Design cool. And of course, get ahold of Dave Ackerman over at Tobacco Motorwear and get yourself some Kevlar Lined jeans and their Kevlar lined California riding shirt. 

From Tim buktu, Chris the Joker and me, Ted, your host, thanks for listening to the motorcycle Men podcast.  This was episode 95 with Rosie Gabrielle. This has been the motorcycle men podcast where we stay stupid stuff so you don’t have to.